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a little....blah. -.- [Feb. 3rd, 2008|11:52 pm]
[Current Mood |depresseddepressed]
[Current Music |Hard Rock Bottom of your heart--Randy Travis]

*sigh* I'm just feeling a little down right now. mostly because of all these goddamn false accusations and my friends doubting me. and some people whom I USED to consider friends suddenly turn on me such as Coal Chaser and Mai Tai. especially Mai Tai who thinks I stole some money from her bank account. well, once I get my next bank statement, I'm shoving it in her arrogant face. I don't know the name of her bank, I don't even know where the hell she lives for chrissake she needs to know the truth. once she sees the truth, I may or may not forgive her for what she's done to me. I don't know. I'm just having a real hard time right now. trying to find a job, getting almost no interviews.  and when I DO get interviews, I don't even get the job. and I'm thinking of going back to Subway. I dunno.

but a bit of good news, I'm getting my first car from my stepsister, so I'm reading the book to learn about the rules of the road so I can get my license.
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2007: not a good year for me at all :( and a bit about myself. [Jan. 2nd, 2008|09:55 pm]
[Current Location |comp]
[Current Mood |depresseddepressed]
[Current Music |Me and God--Josh Turner, Ralph Stanley]

Well, like the title says. 2007 wasn't a good year for me at all. had I not been on those antidepressants, I prolly would not be here posting this journal. cos I prolly woulda killed myself...

there were a lot of bad things that happened to me in 2007, and almost no good things. maybe 2 or 3 in life turning kind of way. but a lot in material wise.

First, the bad stuff. (might wanna grab some coffee)
1. one of my close online friends kills himself
2. my ex girlfriend tells me she falls in love with someone else which sends me into a 6 month depression state.
3. during my depression state, some fuckhead decides to pose as my ex girlfriend, telling me they missed me and they love me, and when I tell this to her, she says it wasn't her.
4. some random stuff I don't remember
5. I'm almost hit by a semi on my bike
6. I say something stupid which makes me temporarily lose a friend
7. a hacker tells Mai Tai about my undying love for her which is untrue and it fucked her and I up, but we set things straight. and we're still friends.
8. I get fired from Subway because I don't meet their standards or some bullshit.
9. I fuck up a friendship between me, Koai, and Staceybob even though we didn't talk much.
10. I get flamed by Staceybob and Black Mane, and Black Mane threatens me with her gun.
10. I get led around by the manager at Safeway for 4 fucking weeks until she tells me she don't want me ¬_¬
11. I get a trojan virus on my computer which fucks it up badly.

that's about all I remember.

now for the good things.
1. I put myself on antidepressants
2. I recieve a pleasant letter from my ex girlfriend.
3. I get my first company based job, Wendy's
4. I move to a house
5. I get a job at Subway which I'm fired from after one month

seems to be all I remember. so 2007; you can drop dead. And God, please let 2008 go better for me.

Now for a little bit about myself.

*sigh* I often am torn betwen calling myself a good person or a bad person. until a couple nights ago I arrived at a conclusion. I consider myself a good person. but I lack some abilities. like the ability to know when to shut up, to keep my mouth shut, think before I say things, consider the possibilities of my actions. I'm a good person, I just do stupid stuff. I'm not a pervert, I don't look at porn as much as I used to earlier in the year. in fact. nowadays, its almost never. I just wish I could undo all the things I've done wrong to some people. if I had ONE wish, it would be for that. I don't know if any of you consider me a pervert or not, but this is who i really am. a good person who just does stupid things that fuck up his life. I don't care what anyone says.


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I'm a cutie =D [Nov. 18th, 2007|10:46 am]
[Current Location |umm, my comp chair? o3o]
[Current Mood |crazycrazy]
[Current Music |Brooks and Dunn--my next broken heart]

Lets101 - Free Online Dating

XD not sure about the cute stuff and I KNOW I'm not an amazing kisser cos I've never kissed a girl in my life o.o; but most of this stuff is true x) duno about the self pride. I don't think I have any. if I do then I'm going to hell >.>
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